


Nothing Could Go Wrong

by boredomsMuse



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Everyone lived, F/M, Field Trip, M/M, Multi, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Peter Parker and the Family Woes, Post end game, This time to Wayne Corp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-27
Updated: 2019-07-27
Packaged: 2020-07-23 00:44:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20001181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boredomsMuse/pseuds/boredomsMuse
Summary: Finally, Peter thought, a field trip where nothing could go wrong.  No spider bites or supervillains, and definitely no family embarrassment.  Thank god WayneCorp had won the class vote over Stark Industries, or else things might be a little different.Also titled: Peter should carry around some wood to knock on because he keeps jinxing himself.





	Nothing Could Go Wrong

**Author's Note:**

> Ngl this has been an idea in my head for a while.
> 
> So!!! Some background info!!
> 
> This is set after End Game, but End Game played out a little differently. Captain America went after the soul stone, and only Steve Rogers came back. Tony thought to change up Neb's servers before they went back in time, so Thanos never returned. Instead, some of his undusted supporters attacked the base. Tony managed to take the stones and when he snapped his fingers he returned most of the stones to their original times. Having lost moral and the element of surprise, the army was soon defeated. Having only used a fraction of the stones power, the damage done was centred mostly on Tony's right side and he lived.
> 
> Which means everyone lived, though Capt still gave up the shield, Tony retired, and Natasha took the time and space stones back and then retired with Clint and Laura.
> 
> Other notes - Pepper is dating Tony and Tony is dating Bucky but Bucky and Pep aren't dating. Bucky was adopted by Queen Ramonda during his time recovering.
> 
> I think that's everything, please enjoy

For the first time ever, Peter was feeling pretty good about a field trip. He stepped in front of WayneCorp with the biggest grin, safe in the knowledge that nothing could go wrong with this one. No spider bites, no supervillains, and no family embarrassment.

This was going to be awesome.

“What’s got you looking so smug Parker?” Flash huffed, glaring at Peter from nearby. “Excited that no one’s gonna find out the truth about your internship? We all know you’re lying anyway.”

“Seriously Flash? This again?” Peter sighed. Okay so maybe it wouldn’t be a  _ perfect _ field trip.

“I know you’re the reason we didn’t go to Stark Industries.” Flash said. He honestly sounded more upset than angry, but Peter wasn’t going to point that out. Or even admit it to himself.

“How is that my fault?” Peter frowned. “WayneCorp won by more than one vote.”

“You got your little friends to vote with you.” Flash claimed, glaring at Ned and MJ who stood to either side of Peter. 

“Unlike you Flash, I can think for myself. I didn’t vote for WC because Peter asked me too.” MJ said, not even looking up from her book.

“Yeah and like, I voted for SI.” Ned said.

“What? Ned!” Peter turned, glaring at his so called man in the chair.

“I wanted to go on the tour! It would have been so cool dude.” Ned defended.

“Some best friend you are.” Peter huffed.

“You really shouldn’t be that surprised.” MJ said.

“I’m sure your best friend Parker here could get you a tour Ned, since he knows Tony Stark personally. Oh wait, he doesn’t. He’s a liar.” Flash butted himself back into the conversation. Thankfully loud enough for Mr Harringon to notice.

“Flash, you know the rules.” He said. “Leave Peter alone.” Grumbling and glaring  but mostly pouting , Flash never the less walked away from them.

“Could you do that?” Ned asked, hopeful. 

“I don’t know Ned, I’m kinda feeling a little too betrayed.” Peter huffed, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Oh come on dude, you can’t hold that against me. It’s  _ SI _ .” Ned protested.

“It would have been horrible!” Peter hissed. “There’s no way Tony would have let me have a normal field trip.”

“Then aren’t you glad WayneCorp won the vote.” MJ said.

“So glad.” Peter said. “Nothing bads going to happen this field trip, I’ve made sure of it.” Despite the optimism of his words, Ned and MJ winced.

“Dude, you totally just jinxed yourself.” Ned pointed out.

“If anything happens now it’s basically you’re fault.” Mj agreed.

“Nothings going to happen.” Peter argued. “Dick’s the only one that knows about the field trip and he promised not to let the others find out.” 

“But isn’t Tim like half-CEO now? He’d probably know.” Ned said.

“Tim has better things to do.” Peter claimed.

“Other than mess with you?” MJ asked. “Doubt it.” Peter couldn’t really argue you that, not honestly at least. Thankfully Mr Harrington called for everyone’s attention before Peter had to try.

“Alright class,” he started with a wide grin, “we’re about to head in. Before we do, I wanted to let you know we have a very special guest as tour guide.”

Oh no.

“I want you to show her the utmost respect and listen closely. Remember, this is a special privilege and you’re representing not just yourself but also Midtown High. I expect you all to be on your best behaviour.”

“It could be anyone, right?” Peter hoped, following his class into the lobby. The room was grand, or at least it was grand for someone who haven’t seen the SI lobby a thousand times. Peter just thought the both of them were ridiculous - which was actually the entire point. Tony and Bruce could get very competitive.

“We told you Peter, you jinxed yourself.” MJ said, the only other non-impressed student. Or maybe she was impressed and was just pretending, that seemed like something MJ would do.

“Welcome Midtown high!” A voice greeted once they were settled. A very familiar voice. Hoping against all hope, Peter looked over his classmates to see the tour guide. “My name is Barbara Gordon and I’ll be your tour guide today.”

“But… don’t you like, work with the police or Batman or something?” One of his classmates spoke up over the excited chattering of the others. Everyone with even a passing knowledge of Gotham knew about the Gordon’s. 

“With the police, yes.” Barb confirmed. “Not Batman I’m afraid, my dads the one that can claim that.” 

_ Liar _ , Peter mouthed, glaring at her over everyone else. Barb’s smirk just widened.

“As for why I’m giving tours these days,” she continued. “Well, it’s been rather difficult to catch up after the blip. Mr Wayne’s been kind enough to let me help out here until I can get back on my feet again.” She looked down at her legs before looking up again. “Metaphorically, of course.”

“At least it’s only Barbara.” Peter said, mumbling to himself. “That’s not too bad.” 

“Peter, you should stop talking.” MJ warned. In the next second the sliding door opened, allowing two men to walk into the lobby. 

“This is the timeline that god abandoned.” Peter decided, head falling into his hands with a groan. 

“Well, would you look at that.” One of them said, likely smirking, as he walked up to the tour group. “Hey Barbs, is this your tour?”

“No Tim, they’re just some group I’m standing near.” Barb said. 

“Perfect, I was just telling Harley how I really need to show him around.” Tim said. “Mind a couple extra?”

“I don’t know…” Peter dared to look up at Barb’s hesitation. “It’s a school field trip, I’m not sure if extras are allowed.” She said, looking at Mr Harrington.  _ Please _ , Peter thought,  _ please please please _ . 

“I’m sure a couple extras will be fine.” Mr Harrington said, crushing Peter’s dreams with a single sentance. Stupid Tim. Why couldn’t he have run WayneCorp into the ground while Bruce was blipped? Then Peter wouldn’t be having these problems.

“Great.” Harley spoke up, meeting Peter’s glare with a smirk. “I have been looking forward to this for ages.”

“Then let’s get started!” Barb said, clapping for attention. Tim and Harley stood to the side of the crowd, close enough to meet Peter’s eye but thankfully not close enough to embarrass him. Hopefully.

“Oh my god this is so cool.” Ned wheezed, eyes flirting between Tim and Barbara. 

“Want to jinx yourself some more?” MJ asked, smirking. She’d finally put her book away and Peter really didn’t want to consider the implications of that.

“No.” He groaned. 

“Aw come on man, please?” Ned asked. 

* * *

They weren’t doing anything.

The class walked through manufacturing and marketing without any hassle. Barbara, Harley, and Tim barely looked at him. For all the world it seemed like they didn’t know him. Hell, they paid more attention to  _ Flash _ and his comments about how SI’s tour would be way better.

It was unnerving.

“I don’t know what you’re so worked up about.” MJ said at lunch. “It could just be a coincidence, you know, the world doesn’t revolve around you.”

“My family doesn’t do ‘coincidence’.” Peter argued. “They’re up to something.”

“Maybe they want you to sit with them.” Ned suggested. “Can we please go sit with them?”

“We are not sitting with them!” Peter hissed. “I don’t want anyone to know I know them. And they know that!”

“Would it really be so bad?” Ned asked. “No one would ever mess with us again.”

“I don’t know. Fame wouldn’t suit you, you’re too… you.” MJ said.

“Exactly!” Peter huffed. “Wait, what?!” He frowned as he registered the insult. MJ ignored him, biting into the sandwich she’d brought. Peter sighed and turned to stare at his brother and cousins. They were eating together, occasionally talking to the few students that grew brave enough to approach them.

They had to be up to something, Peter was sure. Well, jokes on them. He was going to figure out what they were up to. And how they found out about this. Dick promised he wasn’t going to tell anyone.

Wait, that’s it! If anyone could stop their dastardly plans, it was Dick. Or at the very least he could explain how the others found out. 

“You look like your scheming.” MJ commented.

“I’m getting them all grounded.” Peter announced.

“I didn’t ask.” MJ said at the same time as Ned muttered, “But aren’t they all like, at least 20?” Peter ignored the both of them, pulling out his phone.

Halfway through ratting the others out, his phone vibrated with a text of it’s own.

**TIM** : I wouldn't do that if I was you.

Frowning, Peter looked up to find Tim smirking back at him. His phone buzzed again.

**TIM** : Dick and Wally are on a date.   
**PETER** : Stop hacking my phone!!!!

Pointedly ignoring Tim’s next message, Peter switched back to his Dick’s contact. For a moment he considered ending the tattling text but, with a sigh, he deleted it and instead asked Karen to delete all trace of Tim from his phone. Again.

As much as he wanted to figure the others out, he couldn’t do that to Dick and Wally. Things had been so tense with them lately. Mostly because Dick had been essentially dead these past five years  that still felt like five seconds . If they’d finally managed to go on a date and, like,  _ talk about it _ Peter couldn’t distract them. Whatever the others were planning he’d just… he’d just have to put with it.

“Given up on the scheming them?” MJ guessed. She’d probably figured the whole thing out already and just wasn’t telling him. That was a pretty MJ thing to do. 

“Yes.” He sighed, not even bothering to ask.

“Why don’t you just, you know turn  _ that _ on?” Ned half-whispered, eyes darting to MJ like she could have somehow missed that.

“Dude.” Peter hissed, glaring even though everyone said he wasn’t that intimidating. It was the principal. “Not so loud man.” This time they both eyed MJ. The group sat in a tense silence before MJ finally shrugged, turning the page of her book.

“I don’t care what you losers are talking about.” She said.

“But I mean like  _ that’d  _ work.” Ned apparently took that as permission to keep loudly whispering suspicious things Peter didn’t want people hearing. Maybe he should be more worried about his best friend instead of his make-shift family.

“It doesn’t work like that.” He whispered back. Experience told him giving in was the only way to get Ned to stop. “I can’t just turn it on and off.” God his life would be so much easier if he could just turn his spidey powers off.

“But then, like can’t you hear them?” Ned asked. “Cause like, you’ve got super good hearing.” He added a little louder. Peter was going to strangle him.

“Yeah, but they know that.” He said. “They aren’t saying anything important.”

“Oh.” Ned said, pulling back from his ‘I am clearly talking about secret stuff’ stance. “Well that sucks then.” Peter groaned, hitting his and against their table. 

**KAREN** : All traces of Tim Wayne have been removed from your phone.

If history was anything to go off, that meant Peter had a few hours of privacy to count on.

**PETER** : Thanks Karen.   
**KAREN** : You’re welcome Peter   
**KAREN** : Would you like me to hack his phone?   
**PETER** : No thanks Karen

Despite his quick assurances to Karen, a little bit of revenge might be good. 

**PETER** : Next time you’re here we’re pranking Barb, Tim, and Harls into next week   
**SHURI** : Not that I don’t support this, because I do, but why?   
**PETER** : They’ve wheezled their way onto my fieldtrip and they’re up to something   
**SHURI** : You have a school trip??? Where?

Shit.

**PETER** : nowhere

Saved it.

* * *

“Next up we have the testing labs.” Barb announced as the tour continued. “The name says it all, this is where we test the limitations and safety of all potential Wayne products. One of the labs is currently in use, so you will have to hand up all recording devices to me.”

“Whats the lab being used for?” Someone asked. Barb seemed to think about it, looking down at her clipboard. Her eyes didn’t even move to read anything. This wasn’t going to end well.

“Hm… looks like it’s the latest prototype for a new protective bodysuit.” She answered. “Now, if everyone can just put their devices in this bag here. One at a time please.” The group did as asked, the bag slowly filling up with phones and a couple over devices. Tim and Harley were exempt, of course, though Tim definitely joked about stealing from his own company. Peter wasn’t sure how he ended up last, but he was pretty sure it was intentional because Barbs was closing the bag before he could put his phone inside.

“What about Parker?” And of course Brad had noticed. Only Flash would have been worse, maybe. Peter really hoped Barb could sense the high levels of hate he was emitting right now.

“Peter’s exempt, of course.” Barb grinned.

_ I hate you _ , Peter mouth, just for good measure. The class quickly started asking ‘why’ but Barb ignored them.

“If you’ll all follow me this way.” She said, leading them towards the labs.

“I bet his phones too cheap too actually record.” Flash muttered, mostly to himself. None of his friends had been blipped with him. Peter tried not to think about that. 

“Oh my god, you’re exempt?!” Ned asked, a helpful distraction even if he was kind of squealing. “How come?” He was just as interested as the rest of their classmates. At least he was genuinely excited for Peter. And at least MJ didn’t seem to care at all.

“I don’t know.” Peter shrugged, talking quietly and hoping no one overheard. “Maybe it’s just like, a friends and family thing. Same way you’re exempt at the Tower.”

“That’s so cool.” Ned breathed.

“It’s probably just because they know where you live.” MJ said. “If you revealed any of their secrets you’d be screwed.”

“Bold of you to assume Time doesn’t know everyone's address.” Peter countered, inwardly beaming at MJ’s small chuckle. But only inwardly, hold it together Parker don’t look uncool.

“We’re coming up to the active lab now.” Barb announced some time later. That explained the thumping noise. It sounded like someone was playing squash. “I’d like to remind you again that everything you see in this lab is confidential and there will be legal action if it doesn’t remain so after this field trip.” Just as she finished her speech, they reached the windows to the active lab.

Peter would like to say he was surprised to see Cass and Stephie belting each other with the worlds hardest dodge balls. He would like to say that, but he really wasn’t. 

“What are they doing?” Someone asked.

“Releasing a lot of pent up anger.” Tim answered, quickly moving out of the way when Barb tried to whack him.

“They’re testing out a prototype body armour that’s supposed to dampen impacts to the point you don’t feel it.” She said. “As well as being bulletproof, of course, but that’s not what they’re currently testing.”

The girls seemed to notice them and stopped their testing. They couldn’t fool Peter though - he’d bet they’d known the exact time the tour would be passing by.

“Hi guys!” Stephie smiled as she stepped into the hall. “Is this that tour you were talking about?” She asked Barb.

“This is the one.” Barb grinned. “Midtown high, this is Stephanie Brown. For the past five years she’s kept Tim from running Wayne Corp into the ground.” 

“Hey!” Tim huffed. No one else jumped to his defence, laughing as the now part-time CEO pouted.

“It wasn’t an easy job.” Stephie told them. 

“This is Cass, she’s a family-friend and occasionally tester.” Barb added, gesturing to Cass who gave the class a wave.

“We’ve been trying these things out all morning.” Stephie said. “But I think we might be getting too used to each other. You guys want a go?”

“A go at hitting you?” Mr Harrington repeated, frowning. “Miss Brown, I’m not sure if that’s a good idea.”

“Oh, it'll be fine.” Stephie brushed him off, lowering the face mask of the suit. “If the suits work right, we won’t feel a thing.”

_ ‘I’m down.’ _ Cass agreed, signs directed at Barb.

“This is not going to end well.” Peter muttered.

“I don’t know if I can hit a girl.” Brad frowned, then winced as MJ punched his shoulder.

“There,” MJ smirked. “Now it’s like revenge against girls.”

_ ‘I like her.’ _ Cass signed, this time looking directly at Peter.

_ ‘I hate you.’ _ Peter countered, glare broken by a snicker at Cass’ dramatic heartbreak. 

“It’s settled then, everyone head inside and make two lines.” Barb ordered, ignoring Mr Harrington’s quiet protests.

Peter knew how he ended up in Cass’ line - because he trusted her more than Stephie. What he doesn’t know is why Ned and MJ went to the other line, and how Harley ended up directly behind him.

“Having a fun field trip Pete?” Harley asked, thankfully quietly.

“Whatever you guys are planning, I will get you all back ten fold.” Peter muttered back.

“I’m hurt Pete.” It wasn’t very believable, considering he was still smirking. “We aren’t planning anything.” Rather that give that an answer it didn’t deserve, Peter huffed and focused on his classmates.

Quicker than he’d have like, Peter was handed the ball by Flash. Cass hasn’t even flinched at his throw and Flash seemed a little upset by that. A year (six years) ago Peter might’ve thought he actually wanted to hurt her. Now he thought that, maybe, Flash just wanted to stand out.

“Good luck loser, try to actually throw the ball.” Flash huffed, storming off.

“Nice guy.” Harley muttered, glaring at Flash’s back.

“Don’t.” Peter muttered, shooting his brother a quick glare before turning to Cass.

_ ‘Your classmates are weak.’ _ Cass signed as Peter lined up. He threw the ball overarm, holding back enough to look like pre-bite Peter. Which meant the ball barely touched Cass, who looked decidedly unimpressed by that.  _ ‘Weak.’ _ Cass signed the word slowly to really emphasis the point but Peter refused to rise to the bait.

“Oh well.” He shrugged, picking up the ball and turning to hand it to Harley.

“Oh come on Pete, you can throw better than that.” Harley said, smirking. This time he wasn’t even trying to be quiet, in fact he was almost yelling. “I’ve  _ seen  _ you throw better than that.”

“I hate you.” Peter glared as his classmates attention fell on them.

“Love you too.” Harley returned and naturally that’s when he chose to be quiet.

“You know Peter?” Brad asked before Flash could. Peter didn’t like Brad. The guy wasn’t like Flash, with Flash Peter knew what he was getting. Brad played nice except when he didn’t, and Peter didn’t like that.

“Of course. I told you guys, I’m from Stark Industries.” Harley rolled his eyes at Brad. “We do this sort of stuff all the time. Although usually it involves more explosions and fire.”

“One time.” He defended. “You set the lab on fire on time and no one lets you live it down. DUM-E does it every other day!” The words left his mouth and Peter’s face went red. He can’t believe he said that in front of everyone.

“Yeah, but DUM-E’s adorable.” Harley said, ignoring the way the class lit up with whispers. Peter couldn’t ignore it, super hearing making every word clear. They all knew Harley had to be important, he was friends with Tim Drake after all, but they weren’t jumping to conclusions about Peter. The whispers were mostly about Peter’s internship being real. Thank god. 

“This is so cool.” He heard Ned whisper. His best friend was standing with Tim and Barb and grinning ear to ear. “Whatever you guys have planned, I am so all for it.”

“Traitor.” Peter muttered, glaring at him. 

“Peter gets a second try because he didn’t even try.” Harley announced. 

_ ‘Better make this on count.’ _ Cass signed, looking way too amused.

_ ‘When Dick gets back you guys are going to be so grounded.’ _ Peter warned.

_ ‘That’s a risk I’m willing to take.’ _ Cass said. Huffing, Peter lined up and rethrew the ball. He held back enough his throw was still humanly possible, but this time it was accurate enough to hit her chest and hard enough to make the armor light up.

“See, told you you could throw better than that.” Harley grinned.

_ ‘Didn’t feel a thing.’ _ Cass signed.  _ ‘We’ll try again later so you can go all out.’ _ She added and Peter really hoped no one else could understand sign language.

Joining Ned on the sidelines, Peter tried to pretend that everyone had gone back to the task and weren’t still talking about him. He wasn’t doing a very good job.

“I don’t know why you don’t just pretend to have a new baseline.” Ned whispered. “I mean, almost everyone we knew has graduated now.”

“I don’t know.” Peter shrugged. “I guess I’m just used to it now.” Ned opened his mouth to say something but stopped as Flash inched close enough for them to notice. They shared a frown then turned to the bully who’d, admittedly, not been much of a bully since the return.

“Uh, hey losers.” He said.

“...hi…” Peter returned, frowning a little deeper.

“So like, Harley Keener actually knows you?” Flash asked after a moment of hesitation.

“You know Harley?” Peter returned. What was going on here? Flash scoffed, apparently offended by the very question.

“The guys been like, all the rage in SI since the blip, you know? I’ve read that he’s going to be made SI’s heir. Unless Morgan takes an interest in it, of course.” Flash rambled. Peter held back his automatic response - that Mr Stark had already announced he was just going to throw a dart at a spinning board when he and Pepper retired and that’s who’d take over.

“I didn’t know you were such a huge fan of SI.” He said instead.

“Obviously, it’s SI.” Flash said, like that was explanation enough. Which, to be fair, it was. At least for Ned and Peter. “That’s why I didn’t believe you, you know. ‘Cause I know every intern that SI’s employed, and they were all at least in college.”

“He does have the internship.” Ned muttered, probably just from habit. 

“Well I know that  _ now _ , there’s no way Harley could know you if you weren’t an intern.” Flash said. “So like, sorry, for not believing you.” 

“Oh, uh, thanks?” Peter managed. What was happening here?

“So like how’d you get it? Was it like some poor people competition?” Flash continued and Peter felt the world realign. Here was the Flash he knew and could handle. “Obviously they weren’t recruiting from all highschoolers, otherwise they’d pick me.”

“Sure Flash.” Peter sighed. “That’s what happened.” Satisfied with the answer, Flash walked off.

“Dude!” Ned hissed. “Why didn’t you tell him the truth?! Or at least the almost truth.”

“It’s not worth the argument.” Peter said. “But hey, at least this way he’ll stop bugging me about it.”

“I guess…” Ned begrudgingly accepted that. 

* * *

Peter missed the good old days. Before Hayley had called him out and everyone had realized they knew each other. Now everyone was giving him the side-eye, even Mr Harrington, but none of them had the guts to actually come up to him. Worse yet, Harley had deemed this a perfectly valid reason to drag him, Ned, and MJ around as part of his group. Or just him, really. Ned was happy to walk with Harley and Tim and no one could drag MJ anywhere. 

At least they couldn’t talk much. Barb might be the tour guide just to spite Peter but she was the tour guide and damned if she let them talk while they were touring. So it wasn’t as bad as it could be.

And immediately after thinking that, Peter spotted Damian walking towards them, scowling at his phone. He wasn’t sure it was Damian at first, he looked a lot different now that he was fifteen and not ten, but what other teenager would be walking around here alone? Also Tim greeted him loudly, that was a pretty dead giveaway.

“Damian, what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at school?” He called, cutting off Barb mid-sentance. She didn’t even scold him, which meant Peter was super screwed.

“Father gave me the day off, since you left so much work to be done.” Damian huffed, glaring at him. 

“You can’t blame me, it’s not my work now. I’m on holiday.” Tim smirked back. “Come chat to this school group, they could use advice on how to be an overachiever.” 

“Says the guy that took over the company when he was seventeen.” Harley rolled his eyes. Damian didn’t even deny the claim, but then of course not he’s Damian. Instead he gave the class a once over and frowned when he caught Peter’s eye.

“I don’t have time for whatever scheme you’re planning Drake. Richard specifically asked I not interfere with Peter’s class trip, and he won’t be happy to find out you have been.” Damian said. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have things to do.” He rushed off and Peter wanted to grateful he wasn’t joining the scheming, he really did, but now everyone was whispering about how Peter knew Damian Wayne and this was exactly what Tim wanted, wasn’t it?

“My little brother everyone.” Tim announced, clearly amused. “Dad’s only biological son, and the only one that doesn’t know how to people.” Everyone laughed and Barb continued the tour like nothing had happened.

“Dick and Barb are the only ones that can do people.” Peter muttered, quite enough not to be overheard. He hoped. “And Damian isn’t even the worst of you.” Jason was probably the worst, or maybe Tim when he was dragged to events half way through an investigation.

Except, Peter remembered, all that was true five years ago. Things were different now. A lot different. Hell, Jason was living at Wayne Manor again. Maybe Damian really was the only one that couldn’t do people. 

“I’d resent that more if it wasn’t true.” Tim said after a minute and Peter breathed a sigh of relief he hoped no one noticed.

* * *

The last stop on the tour was a Q&A with Bruce Wayne himself. Shockingly (not), that hadn’t originally been on the agenda but Barb had managed to pull some strings. Whatever they were planning, it would definitely be happening then.

But, Peter rationalized, what worse could they do? The only real secret left was the fact he was kinda-almost-basically Tony’s son and he was sure they wouldn't be that cruel. Well, that and the whole spiderman thing but they  _ definitely _ wouldn’t be that cruel. 

...Hopefully they weren’t that cruel.

“Looks like Bruce is running a little late. Sorry about that guys, sounds like there’s a meeting that’s run long.” Barb announced after a few minutes.

“Why are you guys even still here?” Peter asked, glaring at Tim and Harley. 

“This could be my only chance to grill  _ the _ Bruce Wayne man.” Harley claiming, smirking. “Alfred never lets us talk work at dinner.”

“I don’t understand why it has to be a Q&A with Bruce Wayne of all people.” MJ complained. “All we’ll get from him is gossip about the lastest teenager he’s taken in.”

“Bruce does more than just adopt teenagers.” Tim defended. 

“Sure, but all his charity stuff is public knowledge. There’s nothing left to ask.”

“There’s CEO stuff?” Harley offered.

“If I want CEO advice I’ll ask Pepper.” MJ shrugged. None of them could argue that.

A few minutes of mindless chatter and ignoring his classmates curious looks later, the doors to the meeting room opened.

“Oh that’s it.” Peter muttered, pulling out his phone. He was done with the lot of them.

“Sorry to keep you waiting, I had a surprise meeting.” Bruce apologized, press-winning smile in place. 

“And that surprise meeting is also very sorry, but to make it up to you I’ve decided to tag along to the Q&A too.” Tony Stark ‘apologized’, shit-eating grin in place. He gave the room a sweep and then gasped in the fakest tone possible. “Oh my god Peter, is that you? I had  _ no _ idea you were on this field trip.” 

“That explains it.” Bruce muttered as Tony walked over to Peter, throwing an arm around Peter’s shoulders.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were visiting your Uncle Bruce?” He asked.

“Pepper says you’re sleeping on the couch.” Peter said, looking up from his phone to meet Tony’s smile with a glare. Harley, Tim, and Barb immediately broke out into laughter. “And if you keep pushing she’s going to have to hold a press conference.”

“Oh my god.” Harley wheezed.

“Peter has Ms Potts number, oh my god that’s so cool.” Ned whispered too loudly, which just sparked more gossip in the group. Peter didn’t even care anymore.

“I can’t believe you told Pepper on me.” Tony said. Peter looked down as his phone vibrated again.

“Also Morgan only loves you 2000 now, because you’re being a meanie.” He read.

“Savage.” MJ smirked. If Peter looked he’d notice she seemed oddly proud.

“Betrayed, by my own children.” Tony said, hand over his heart. “Harley you’re my favourite now.” 

“Jokes on you, Bucky’s my favourite.” Harley said once he’d controlled his laughter.

“Bucky would never do this to me.” Peter agreed. 

“I didn’t raise you to be this sassy.” Tony huffed. 

“Yes you did.” Peter and Harley said at the same time.

“So it appears you’ve turned a school tour into messing with Peter.” Bruce commented, muttering ‘this explains so much’ under his breath.

“I still gave a perfectly awesome tour!” Barb argued. “Right Mr Harrington?”

“Um,” Mr Harrington blinked, having just been sharing in shock at Peter and Tony. Most of the class still was. “Tour? Oh, uh, right, yes it was very… educational.” He managed.

“Exactly! We just also wanted to see how far we could push Peter.” Barb explained.

“I never expected him to clap back like that.” Tim said, still laughing. “Oh my god I can’t believe you told Pepper.”

“I’m telling Dick and Alfred too.” Peter warned. “You’re all going down.”

“What? No that’s too cruel!” Tim protested.

“Tell Alfred I had nothing to do with it, won’t you? I still deserve deserts.” Bruce chuckled. “Now, I believe you were all promised a Q&A.” He turned back to the class.

“What the hell was that?!” Brad was the first to speak.

“Peter  _ told  _ you all he had an internship.” Flash scoffed, like he’d totally believed from the start and never suggested it might’ve been a charity case. Good old predictable Flash.

“This is a Wayne Corp Q&A, please try to keep your questions about Peter to a minimum.” Despite Bruce’s requests, students were practically screaming questions about Peter.

“Guess we’re having a press conference kiddo.” Tony smirked, dragging Peter up to the sight stage the room had.

“What? No!” Despite Peter’s protests he found himself standing in front of his class, Tony grinning at his side.

“To answer all your questions, Peter Parker is actually my illigement son.” He said, shit-eating grin back in place. “I didn’t discover my night with his mum, well both his parents, had ended in a child until years down the line. At which point I found out my son was a genius and so naturally I took him under my wing. This is all a hundred percent true and that is all the questions we’ll be taking, thank you. I hope you enjoyed your tour.”

The class continued to ask questions but Barb started herding them out of the room, just as amused as Tony was and Peter wasn’t.

“I hate you.” Peter said.

“That’s what you get for telling Pepper on me.” Tony grinned. “Now off you go, I’ll see you when you get back to New York.” Still glaring at him, Peter begrudgingly rejoined his friends and left the room.

“That was the coolest thing ever.” Ned whispered as they left. “Is it true?”

“What? No, of course it’s not true!” Peter denied. “Ned, you should know better.”

“It was pretty convincing.” Harley smirked. “I might even believe it.”

“A lot of people probably believe it.” MJ said. “Flash live streamed it and Tony shared it.”

“That’s it, I’m disowning Tony. I’m disowning all of you.” Peter decided.

“You really aren’t helping your case.” Harley chuckled. Peter grumbled but gave up. At least the combined forces of MJ, Harley, and Tim kept the rest of the class from bugging him further. It still wasn’t a fun ride down to the lobby, and Peter suspected it wouldn’t be a fun bus or flight back to New York.

So when he stepped out of the building and saw a familiar motorbike, Peter grinned.

“Little birdie told me you might need an escape.” Jason greeted.

“See, this is what an actual cousin is like.” Peter said, pointedly glaring at Barb, Tim, and Harley.

“I don’t know why you’re looking at me, I’m a brother. I’m allowed to be an asshole.” Harley smirked right back.

“And that’s why I’m not talking you out for the cheeseburgers.” Jason said. “Come on Pete.” He threw a helmet Peter’s way before securing his own.

“Um, excuse me sir, I can’t just… you can’t just pick a student up.” Mr Harrington protested.

“Bring it up with my dad, he’s probably still in the building.” Peter said, settling easy on the back of Jason’s motorbike. Out the corner of his eye he could see MJ laughing and Ned starring in shock, then they were racing through the streets of Gotham. Aunt May was totally going to kill him but it was worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope i made it pre clear who was dusted and who wasn't but if you guys want like a summary of this cross over during the five years, i can write that. Won't be a full fic, just like a quick thing


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